Today after Sunday worshiping, I and my fiancé attended to our first pre-marital counseling. Our premarital counseling will last for 5 months. Now I want to share about the major point of successful marriage that I have learned today.
We are the in same Faith
A successful marriage is more likely when both couples are Christian and from the same faith. They will tend to agree on the major points in the Bible. The Bible commands couples to not be unequally yoked for their own good and the good of any subsequent children which may come later.Paul said “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness” (2 Cor 6:14). It’s like mixing water and oil. They will never mix properly and one will always tend to separate from the other. Like Paul said, “what fellowship can light have with darkness?” We are commanded to “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Eph 5:11). If you are a Christian and dating or engaged to a non-Christian, John gives a clear warning; “If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth” (1 John 1:6).
Premarital counseling reduces the chances of divorce because even Christians may have drastically different preferences and these differences can cause division and strife; knowing them before marriage helps to set expectations after marriage.
No living together before marriage
There is no excuse for living together or having premarital sex just to see if they are compatible or that things will work out. God says that is sexual immorality and it is never in the best interest of couples to live together before marriage because it is sin. We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did–and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. (1Corinthian 10:8). The seventh commandment strongly said: “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).Even a couple that is engaged should not be involved with premarital sex because they cannot expect God to bless their marriage if they cannot be faithful before marriage. They are openly sinning before God. It is no excuse to say that they want to make sure that they are compatible with each other. There is no compromising with the Word of God.
Marriage not change our spouse’s behavior
Don’t expect the marriage to solve your fiancé’s problems. If anything, their problems will be dragged into the marriage and may even grow worse. For one thing, only God can truly change a human heart (Prov 21:1). Marriages do not solve problems. People must solve serious problems like anger and addictions to drugs or alcohol before they get married because marriage cannot be expected to solve these issues.
Finally, how they treat their parents and children will be how they will likely treat you and your children. Marriage is a very serious institution. It is a vow made before witnesses and before God. God will expect you to honor your mate, to love them, and to never, ever leave them or forsake them. Once you are married, you are bound to that person until death. Think about these things before you get married and you will have a better chance at a successful and godly marriage than those who do not.