Tag Archive | marriage

The Holy Vows

Been quite long time I am not post anything to the blog. Just visiting, reading many great post of my blog friends. It is just because I am busy for my wedding preparation. But Thank you to God, everything has been settled and now just waiting for that great day. Sadly, this evening post would be my last post this year. I promise will come back next year. This last post is not an article or my thought but I only share something important part in a Christian Wedding.  I would like to share my wedding vow.

The most great and important moment in a Christian marriage is when the bride and groom pronounce their wedding vows before God and His congregation. It is the most thrilling and touching moment for them. Utter a vow which is a great commitment not just in the front of husband and wife and their family, but in the presence of God. Few days away, I will say the wedding vow before God and His congregation, as well as in the front of my husband and vice versa.

Honestly, I was a bit nervous. Not because I have to memorize the vow but I will says a vow that will be binds of a lifetime and that must be kept for throughout of my life. The wedding vow is a holy vow, a best privilege in life to love and honor my husband forever. It’s the end of a love seeking journey. I pray to God that I could say it clearly and really come out from the deepest of my heart, understand its meaning and prove it by deeds.

Below is my wedding vow that I will say on 14th December. This evening I would like to share our wedding vows. For the blog friends who are married, this post might bring you to reminisce, recalling the most precious moment on your wedding day. Many love and blessing to you all. I am gonna miss you so much.

Kevin will says,

My dear beloved Karina Susanto, as we stand before both God and man, making public our commitment to one another, I wish to make it known that I recognize first of all God’s authority over my life which is exercised from His loving heart. He has chosen me to be one of his own, and He is now my life. I recognize also that He has blessed me and entrusted to me your life as a free gift that I have not earned. In recognition of these things, Karina, I purpose to love you with His love, to provide for your needs through His enablement, and to lead you as He leads me, as long as He give us life together, regardless of the circumstances. As Psalm 34:3 expressed my heart when I asked you to marry me, so it expresses my heart now: “Glorify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together.”

Wedding vow 1 - Karina's Thought

I will says,

My dear beloved Kevin Lam, on this precious day, I am reminded of the verse James 1:17 which says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. With a gift such as you, I know that many new responsibilities face me. In 1 Corinthians 4:2, it explains “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.”  I cannot do this on my own strength,  but Kevin, by God’s grace and power working within me I desire to be trustworthy as your wife by following your leading submissively, even as unto Christ, loving and serving you in all circumstances as long as He give me life on this earth.

wedding vow 2 - Karina's Thought

 Saturday, December 14, 2013

Karina

Related to this post : My Love Journey by Sellairene

Photo credit: Google Images

Respect your Husband

This afternoon I and my fiancé returned following the second session of premarital counseling and once again as a couple who will get married we got a wonderful blessing from God. We have learned more about Christian Marriage. I am trying to summarized the counseling materials and very pleased to share to all of you..

Today’s topic focused more directly to womenas a wife. The emphasis is on how to respect my husband. Many marriages begin well and end poorly because men and women are not properly trained in how to treat one another. God has specific roles for the husband and the wife and when we stay within those roles we have happy marriages and good family lives. Here are some important things that must be done by a wife.

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. (Genesis 2:18)

Treatandrespect himas a leader

God gave you your husband as the leader in your home. This means that he is not only the Spiritual leader; he is the one who make decisions.  Women are ill-equipped to make large decisions; we are far too emotional for that big responsibility. Your part in the decision process could be to help him be the leader by providing him with information that will aid in decision-making. And remember that just because you provided information, this does not mean that your husband will consider that information.  He chooses what to use in the decision process; a wise husband will ask for his wife’s advice.  When he chooses not to consider your information and/or advice let him take responsibility for the decision, be it good or bad.  Never, ever say “I told you so” or words to that effect when a decision has gone bad.  When he makes good decisions thank him for taking that burden. Remember to avoid getting leadership and advice from other males in your life such as your pastor, friend or even your brother. Take a look at what the Bible says about your husband’s role as leader and head of the wife:

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Respect His Maleness 

Accept the fact that God made you the weaker vessel. This is one of those things that have taken me many years to do.  I am a strong willed woman and many times I have tried to do things that I needed not to do. I now am thankful that my husband carries the heavy packages and opens the doors for me. He is being what God has made him to be, my protector – not only for safely sake but for my own health and well-being. You were created for him, as his helper. Let your husband be the strong one and when he is, praise him for it and thank God for him. Let him open that pickle jar; even if you loosened it for him. Here are some Bible verses for this hint:

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

Respect as an Attitude

There are times when the husband is not respectful to the wife. This does not give you license to be disrespectful. You cannot control his actions, but you can control your reactions. You see, respect is not only seen in your actions (as a verb) but it is also seen in your attitude (as a noun). When you show an attitude of respect toward your husband he will think twice about the way that he is treating you. Love him, even when he is unlovely. Serve him, even when he seems not to appreciate your service. Listen to him, even when you may not understand what he is talking about. Be attentive to his physical needs, even when you are tired.  God will bless you and your marriage when you remember to have a respectful attitude.  Bible guidelines for this are:

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Philippians 2:3-4 (KJV) Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Respect His Reputation 

Don’t air your dirty laundry. When you are in the company of others you should never be saying things that tear your husband down. Instead you should be saying only good about him. Brag on him! Be faithful to him in thought, word and deed. This includes what you say and do in front of the children. Teach them to respect their Daddy, he is their protector too and they should see him as a hero. The Bible is loaded with this concept, here are a few verses:

Proverbs 12:7 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 31:11-12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 

Romans 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 

Respect His Provision 

This is a Biblical principle that has been overlooked in our modern world.  In the day of the two-income family, we have come to depend upon the wife’s income to provide for the needs of the family. This ought not to be. Don’t misunderstand; I realize that sometimes it is necessary for a woman to work outside of the home, in the case where the husband is physically unable.  However, when your husband is able to provide for the family – let him do it! Here is the Biblical standard on the husband as the provider: 

Genesis 3:17-20 And to Adam he said,”Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ’You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Respect His Home 

Make your house a home, no matter what the living circumstance. Make it comfortable and clean. Make the bed. Clean up the dirty dishes. Keep up with the laundry. Your husband works hard and he deserves a cozy home after a hard day. Get up before your husband and the children – set the tone for the day.  When you have things in order your day will run smoother for your entire household. Teach the children to clean up after themselves and how to do daily and weekly chores. All this should be done without grumbling or complaining.

Titus 2:4-5 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning 

The Counseling today concludes with a question: are you ready to become a good Christian wife?

This material counseling was taken from an article “How to respect your husband “Written by Pamela Rose Williams

Summarized by Karina

 

 

 

Successful Marriage

marriage.pToday after Sunday worshiping, I and my fiancé attended to our first pre-marital counseling. Our premarital counseling will last for 5 months.  Now I want to share about the major point of successful marriage that I have learned today.

We are the in same Faith

A successful marriage is more likely when both couples are Christian and from the same faith.  They will tend to agree on the major points in the Bible.  The Bible commands couples to not be unequally yoked for their own good and the good of any subsequent children which may come later.Paul said “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness” (2 Cor 6:14). It’s like mixing water and oil.  They will never mix properly and one will always tend to separate from the other.  Like Paul said, “what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  We are commanded to “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (Eph 5:11).  If you are a Christian and dating or engaged to a non-Christian, John gives a clear warning; “If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth” (1 John 1:6).

Premarital counseling

  Premarital counseling reduces the chances of divorce because even Christians may have drastically different preferences and these differences can cause division and strife; knowing them before marriage helps to set expectations after marriage.

 No living together before marriage

 There is no excuse for living together or having premarital sex just to see if they are compatible or that things will work out.  God says that is sexual immorality and it is never in the best interest of couples to live together before marriage because it is sin. We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did–and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. (1Corinthian 10:8). The seventh commandment strongly said:  “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).Even a couple that is engaged should not be involved with premarital sex because they cannot expect God to bless their marriage if they cannot be faithful before marriage. They are openly sinning before God.  It is no excuse to say that they want to make sure that they are compatible with each other.  There is no compromising with the Word of God.

Marriage not change our spouse’s behavior

 Don’t expect the marriage to solve your fiancé’s problems.  If anything, their problems will be dragged into the marriage and may even grow worse. For one thing, only God can truly change a human heart (Prov 21:1).  Marriages do not solve problems.  People must solve serious problems like anger and addictions to drugs or alcohol before they get married because marriage cannot be expected to solve these issues.

Finally, how they treat their parents and children will be how they will likely treat you and your children.  Marriage is a very serious institution.  It is a vow made before witnesses and before God. God will expect you to honor your mate, to love them, and to never, ever leave them or forsake them. Once you are married, you are bound to that person until death.  Think about these things before you get married and you will have a better chance at a successful and godly marriage than those who do not.

Karina

 

 

Life Together

 

old-couple-holding-handsOne fine day, an old couple around the age of 70 walks into a lawyer’s office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.

Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story….
This couple had been quarreling throughout their 40 plus years of marriage. Nothing ever seems to go right.

They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there’s nothing else the old couple have to worry about. All they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agreed on a divorce….

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 years of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn’t understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
“I really love you, but i really can’t carry on anymore, I’m sorry..”
“It’s o.k., I understand..” said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together with just the three of them. The wife thought, “Why not? since they are still gonna be friends..”

At the dining table, there was an awkward silence. The first dish was roasted chicken. Immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady..
“Take this; it’s your favorite…”

Looking at this, the lawyer thought there might still be a chance for the relationship, but the wife was frowning when she answered..
“This is always the problem. You always think so highly of yourself and never thought about how I feel. Don’t you know that I hate drumsticks?”

Little did she know that over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her. Little did she know that drumsticks were the husband’s favorites? Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all. Little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her?

That night, both of them couldn’t sleep. Through the night, they toss and turn repeatedly… After hours, the old man couldn’t take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can’t carry on life without her. He wants her back; he wants to tell her he is sorry. He wanted to tell her “I love you”…

He picks up the phone, started dialing her number…. The ringing never stops.. He never stopped dialing….

On the other side, she was sad. She couldn’t understand how come after all these years; he still doesn’t understand her at all. She loves him a lot, but she just can’t take it anymore…. The phone rang but she refuses to answer knowing that it’s him…
“What’s the point of talking now that it’s over… I have asked for it and now I want to keep it this way. If not I will lose face…” She thought. With the phone still ringing, she decided to pull out the phone cord…

Little did she remember, he had heart problems…

The next day, she received news that he had passed away… She rushed down to his apartment and saw his body lying on the couch still holding on to the phone. He had a heart attack when he was trying to get through to her phone line….

As sad as she was, she have to clear his belongings. When she was looking through the drawers, she saw this insurance policy dated from the day they got married with the beneficiary being her. And together in those files, there was this note.

“To my dearest wife,

By the time you’re reading this, I’m sure I’m no longer around. I bought this policy for you. Though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married. I might not be around anymore but I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around by your side. I love you. “

Tears flowed like river……

 “When you love someone, let them know… You never know what will happen the next minute… Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other… For who they are.. Not what they are…”


photo credits :
healthyhappyhumanbeings.com

Salty Coffee

Cup-of-coffee-coffee-17731301-1680-1050He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please; let me go home…. suddenly he asked the waiter. “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.”


Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: “when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, and I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there”. While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.


That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!


Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that’s the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: “My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything…


Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again”.


Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what’s the taste of salty coffee?
It’s sweet. She replied.

Photo source : http://www.fanpop.com

The Missing Rib

MISSING RIBA girl in love asked her boyfriend: “Tell me, who you love most in this world?”

“You, of course!”

“In your heart, what am I to you?”

The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, “You are my rib. In the Bible, it was said that God saw that Adam was lonely. During his sleep, God took one of Adam’s ribs and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib. Only when you find the woman of your life will you no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart.”

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems. Their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away at their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels, and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after a quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, “You don’t love me!” The boy hated her childishness, and out of impulse retorted, “Maybe it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!”

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said, but words spoken are like thrown away water — you can never take them back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined on breaking up.

Before she left the house, the girl said, “If I’m really not your missing rib, then please let me go.” She continued, “It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners.”

Five years went by. He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and came back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day they finally met — at the airport — a place where there were many reunions and good-byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

(b): “How are you?”

(g): “I’m fine. How about you. Have you found your missing rib?”

(b): “No.”

(g): “I’ll be flying to New York on the next flight.”

(b): “I’ll be back in 2 weeks time.”

(g): “Give me a call when you get back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.” With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.

One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York — in the event that shocked the world.

Midnight. Once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew that she was the missing rib that he had so carelessly broken.

*****

Sometimes people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent our frustrations 99% at our loved ones. And even though we know that we ought to “think twice and act wisely,” it’s often easier said than done.

Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control. Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives. Tomorrow may never come. Give and accept what you have today.

godslittleacre.net

Photo : http://www.fanpop.com

” Will you Marry Me?”

TALKING DOLL 3

 

 

There was a boy who was so much in love with a girl. So he promised to give her a wedding ring on her birthday. As the girl’s birthday has come, the arrived together with his gift which is a Talking Doll. But the girl was embarrassed with the gift. So the girl throw it away. But the boy run for it to catch the doll, unexpectedly the boy was hit by a car and died. At the time of the boy’s burial, the girl was crying and hug the doll and it spoke ….

“Please get the ring in my pocket.  Hope you’ll like it. I love you very much. Will you marry me?”