A Man Crying

Hello my beloved readers! I’m grateful to God finally I could spend my time to write my own post again. This post inspired by a conversation between my husband and his friend some time ago. I hope and pray this post could be a blessing to all of us. Thank you very much to the all loyal readers who always visit and read my blog posts.

“As the only man and the eldest brother in family, I shouldn’t show my grief and shouldn’t cry. A mam must be strong!! This word came out from a best friend of my husband who some time ago just lost his beloved mother. Then my husband said, “But actually you are very sad and want to cry, right?”  My husband’s friend replied, “I cannot lie to myself. Yes, actually I am very sad and want to cry to express my sorrow. But you know, since childhood my parents have taught that men should be strong and should not be whiny.”

My dear friends, I kept quiet during the conversation. Those conversations made me thinking and ponder. There was something I didn’t agree of my husband’s friend’s statement. I didn’t agree that a man shouldn’t show his sorrow and shouldn’t cry. I just feel that a man as if made from iron and wire like a robot that didn’t have feeling at all. In fact, the same as women, men could face a similar situation. Death, pain, loss, and various other things that can make a man feel sad. And all of them need a way to express their feeling.

Talk about crying, I remembered one of David saying when he got deep distress. Let’s see what David said at the time. “You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” (Psalm 56:8) At the time, the Israelites were using a bottle as a container for water or milk. Other than that, there was a unique culture that comes from Egyptians where they contain their tears into the bottle and then put it on the grave of their family or brethren as an expression of their grief. Well, I will not talk about the culture but I want to talk about David’s word.

We all know very well who David was. Though David was a man who was brave facing the lion, a man who was very brave against Goliath and successfully defeated him, and finally become a king, it turns out, he didn’t ashamed to cry. Why David crying? At that time David was under great pressure because besides being on the run to be chased by King Saul who was jealous with him, he faced another danger of entering the enemy territory of the Philistines in Gath and he was arrested. In the stressful situation, David didn’t look that crying is something shameful to do. He cried just because his mind was depressed but not because he weak. David cried not because he was afraid. Let’s take a look to the following verse,

When I cry out to You, then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me. In God (I will praise His word), In the Lord (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid….” (Psalm 56: 9-11)

These verses are proof that even though David cried it doesn’t mean he became weak and afraid and his faith remained strong. Although he was crying, David remained steadfastly surrendering his life to God, and still fully believed that God remained with him.

So, whether a man shouldn’t cry? Is crying a symbol of Men’s weakness? My dear readers, allow me to take all of you to reflect on these three things.

First, in my whole life I have never found a rule of life or laws that forbids a man to cry or crying for a man is a disgrace! There’s no single verse in the Bible stated that a man shouldn’t cry. Even Jesus was crying (Luke 19:41) My husband said that, “Crying is how your heart speaks the pain you feel when your lips can’t” So I say firmly, there’s nothing wrong if a man cries and a man doesn’t need be ashamed and feel weak when he cries. The important thing is, when a man cries, his faith doesn’t weaken. David was crying because he was totally under pressure but didn’t mean his faith weakening. At that time David still believed God was by his side. The wrong one is, when a man crying then it makes his faith weaken, weaken his mental, and made he didn’t dare to face all the problems of life.

The second, Actually God doesn’t require us to pretend to be strong even though inside of us are broken. He knows suffering is painful, and for that He is ready to be with us through those painful time. God doesn’t forbid us to have sad feeling. God doesn’t scold us when we crying. My husband’s friend just lost his beloved father. God Himself also definitely understands very well what it feels like to lose. God knows it feels hurt because He also experienced hurt when He let His only begotten Son died to redeem our sins in the cruel ways.

The third, crying because our suffering and sadness isn’t a waste thing. Why? Because actually God know every single teardrop that flows from our eyes. God really understands the tears language which expresses unbearable suffering and bitterness of life. Not only understand, God also collect and record every single of our tears as David said. “… Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?” (Psalm 56:8) This verse shows us one important thing that God actually never leaves us alone. Even when we feel like “abandoned by God”, indeed, God doesn’t leave us. God is on collecting and taking note every tears of our crying and as if He said, “My child, I will never leave you alone…Please be patient… Just a little more time will be fulfilled and I will declare my glory”

My beloved readers, through this post allow me once again to express my opinion that there’s nothing wrong at all if a man crying. Crying isn’t a taboo thing for a man. Crying isn’t a symbol of weakness of a man. Beside mind, character, intelligence, and feeling, God also give man tears. As long as a man has feeling, same as a woman, when the lips isn’t able to speaks, crying is a good way to express our sorrow. Crying is the way our heart speaks. But… We must remember that behind our weeping there’s still strength in us. Behind every single teardrop there’s still a firm faith, there’s still strong trust that God will never leave us alone. We have to always remember God’s promises,

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Revelation 7:17)

Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. (Luke 6:21)

At the end of this post, I long to encourage all of men that there’s nothing wrong at all if one day you have to crying and there are compelling reasons why you cry. Not just for women, crying is something normal and humane. Don’t ever feel ashamed to express your feeling through crying. Crying doesn’t mean weak. Cry if it can make you relieved and the burden on you is lighter. But let me remind you one thing, don’t be a whiny man. Like David, keep strong, still have firm faith, and keep trusting God that He will wipe every of our tears as He promises, He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) Amen.


Karina Lam – Living by Faith

Image source: themanmodern.com



63 thoughts on “A Man Crying

  1. It is actually dangerous not to express emotion, especially grief. We, as humans, are meant to emote. If we hold our back our tears they will simply express elsewhere in ways that are unpleasant.

    When we don’t express what we are feeling at the time those emotions turn to poison within us causing great trouble. When the emotions finally do come out they are usually twisted and end up hurting others.

    It is better to express the feeling and then progress rather than to be trapped in the emotion for a long time.

    Homer Les

    • Dear, Homer Les
      First of all, I thank you for visiting my blog. Also thank you very much for your wonderful thought related to my post. Yes, I absolutely agree with your thought. Thank you and God Bless.

  2. Beautiful words, my friend. And I’m not ashamed to say that I cry often. Sometimes over silly things, but I don’t try to stop it. I agree with your words, 100%. ❤

  3. My pastor talked about this very thing from a Faith perspective on Sunday. It’s OK to cry as long as you don’t stay in a grief stricken state forever. Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning! Even in his sorrow, David chose to strengthen himself in the Lord! 1 Samuel 30

  4. Even Jesus wept over Jerusalem. The mark of a godly man is he who can express sorrow, fear, grief; and then go on to do what needs to be done. Many biblical examples, including the Apostle Paul. I don’t know where this idea came from that men shouldn’t cry, but it certainly is not from God.

    Excellent post, Karina.

  5. Karina, what you said about a man weeping is truth. God created us with emotions that we need to express both weeping and laughter. When we do not express our emotions, toxic emotions grow inside of us and cause many health issues. Also bitterness is a bitter fruit of bottling the emotions. Expressing all our emotions for both men and women is healthy and allows one to really experience and enjoy life.

  6. I cannot count the number of times I have cried, both alone and in public. To hold it in will only lead to bitterness. Jesus wept in public. Men don’t need to be ashamed to cry when it is needed. Good words.

    • Dear ,brother Tom
      Yes, My husband too. He could crying on my shoulder. I agree tat hold our tears will lead us to the bitterness. Thank you very much for your lovely response, brother. God Bless.

  7. I am thinking that the idea about men are not suppose to cry could be some kind of ancient social pronouncement or instruction given.In tribal societies male were prepare for war at a young age and had to exhibit mental toughness as part of their development. I believe it has caused a negative impact on christian men who are afraid to express themselves like David did throughout the scriptures. Esau cried when he lost his birthright blessings Genesis 27: 38. Can you imagine Joseph who had the heart to forgive his brothers and was not able to tell them. When they came to Egypt and he knew that it was them he had to express his emotion by crying several times

  8. Hi Karina.
    I really enjoyed this post. The statement that men shouldn’t cry doesn’t come from the word of God and it needs to be challenged which you have done. One of the men I respect taught me that manhood and Christ likeness are synonymous. To be a man is to be more like Jesus. He was tough but also tender. He boldly opposed the Pharisees but was able to identify with people’s pain to the point of crying.
    Thank you for the reminder than it’s okay for a man to cry.


    • Hello dear friend, Rolain
      You are welcome. Thank you very much for you kind word. Praise to God you enjoyed read my post. Yes, there’s nothing wrong for men cries. Thank you very much and God Bless.

  9. Sister Karina; I had a reply pretty much ready and seen the response that Pure Glory put; I couldn’t have said it any better! Pure Glory: “Karina, what you said about a man weeping is truth. God created us with emotions that we need to express both weeping and laughter. When we do not express our emotions, toxic emotions grow inside of us and cause many health issues. Also bitterness is a bitter fruit of bottling the emotions. Expressing all our emotions for both men and women is healthy and allows one to really experience and enjoy life.”

    We ARE created in the LIKENESS of God, in the natural, in the emotional and in the Spiritual. God is Spirit, Christ Jesus came in the flesh, the dust of the earth, the Holy Spirit counsels and guides us, disciplines and encourages us. If men of God can’t lead in all ways, than how are we to truly be the Priests of our household, protecting our loved ones as Christ gave Himself for the church?!!

    Gonna reblog this Sister, this is much needed!! God bless!

  10. Reblogged this on FOR THE LOVE OF GOD and commented:
    Men Crying; We NEED men, leaders in ALL areas of the priesthood! This comes from one of my Sisters who has been a long-time follower. Please take this message to heart AND for more inspiration and encouragement, please check out her site if you haven’t already! God Bless!!

    • Dear sister in Christ, Renee
      Nice to meet you in WP. Thank you very much for your bible verse. Also thank you for re -blogged my post to your blog. I really appreciate it. God Bless.

  11. Pingback: A Man Crying – ♡Heart Tokens♡

  12. Karina, I really appreciate this blog post. My mind has been fixed to where I’m embarrassed to cry in front of others over certain things. But I wholeheartedly agree. Tears are ways of expressing what our lips can’t. Amazing post!

  13. You speak/write wisdom, Karina! Expecting men (and even boys) to hold in their tears does more harm than good. Crying relieves stress and helps regulate emotions. (The Bible was right all along, as always!) I’m glad that popular opinion is changing and making it more acceptable for men to cry.

    • Dear sister in Christ, Nancy
      Thank you so much for your lovely response on my post. I do agree that crying relieves stress and helps regulate emotions. Once again thank you very much for reading and commenting my post. Have a blessed day.

  14. Karina, I love the encouragement you wrote. So much truth, and the examples you showed from the Bible through David went perfectly with it. No matter who we are – man, woman or child, we can all be inspired to take whatever we’re feeling and going through to the Lord. With Him, we can find love, peace, and comfort in the midst of it all.

  15. Pingback: A Man Crying – NarrowPathMinistries

  16. My husband used to cry at Hallmark commercials. He was not a weak man, he was a strong and confident leader of many, but he had a tender heart. I think it shows strength in a man and confidence when he is not afraid to show his feelings. This is a man that can nurture a child, and rule a nation, as Jesus did. Thank you for this beautiful post, Karina. Men need to read this and know they have permission to be tenderhearted, this shows true strength; this shows true balance and the ability to be ALL that the Lord has called them to be.
    Karina, I appreciate your ‘like’ on my latest post and so many gone past. I would like to send you my book when it comes out as a thank you for your faithful following of my blog; your presence has greatly encouraged me along my path. If you will send your address to wordscroll@gmail.com I would be blessed to gift you with a signed copy of “Comfort in the Challenge” when I receive it. I am confident that you know my heart by now that you can trust that your address will not be shared with anyone or used for any other purpose than this blessing to you. Thank you for your faithfulness to the Lord Karina, your posts are heartfelt wonderful to so many!
    Lori O’Neil

    • Dear sister in Christ, Lori
      First of all, thank you very much you visit and read my post. It was a great honor to me. Also thank you very much for the story about your husband. I would be pleased to give my email address to you. karina_susanto@ymail.com Thank you for your willingness to give me a gift your book, sister. Have a blessed Sunday, sister.

  17. Karina, you are so faithful to read and like my posts. Thank you! You too write meaningful, helpful posts, which I don’t read often enough. May our Lord continue to use you mightily for His glory.

    • Dear brother in Christ, Jgarrot
      You are welcome.. I love your posts and many other. Always learn something from many good posts included yours 🙂 God bless. Have a nice Sunday

  18. Pingback: A Man Crying – Emeka Ofili

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