Tag Archive | selfish

Friends Character

friendship 2

As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart (Proverb 27:19)

I have a lot of friends and I believe all of you too. But have we ever thought what kind of friends are they?  Did we really know their characters?  Friends are great treasure for us. They can give incredible influence that can change our personal lives. When I was in high school, I had a best friend named Kimiko (Several times I’ve mentioned her name in my post). kimiko gave me an incredible influence and be able to change my very bad and annoying character. When another friend began to stay away and hate me, she was always faithful to accompanied me. Slowly but sure she is trying to change me to become a good girl with a better character. That is the best friend.

In befriended I always assess them and trying to figure out their character. After I recognize it, then I can decide how I should behave to them. And I will choose which one can be best friends, and which ones are just as ordinary friends.

There are some characters that I can get from them and we can learn something valuable from it. There is a friend who has a tough character. From friends like these we can learn to be brave and assertive. We can learn how we brave to struggling to reach our dreams. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. (I Timothy 4:10)

There was a gentle friend. They are teaching us to appreciate and loving each other.  We also have an indifferent friend. Verily they make us think how we caring to others. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.(Hebrew 10:24-25)

We also find a friend who cannot be trusted. What we can get from them? We can learn to keep our mouth and tongue so that every single word that we say is always trustable. We can imagine and feel what it’s like being lied. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverb 18:21)

Another character is, there was a wicked friend. They are always take advantages of other people for his own benefit. In fact they are the people who make us think and learn how to doing goodness and be kindness to others, but keep cautious.  Jesus said to them: “Watch out that no one deceives you.” (Mark 13:5)

There was a selfish and arrogant friend who always talks about their self, undeniable, always be a superior and always look down to others. Dear friends, we can learn from them to being humble and always remember everything that we do, not come from our strength but from God’s strength. Also remind us that we are a weak person but be strong in God. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”. (1Peter 5:6-7)

That is types of friend’s character. God introduced them to us to be wiser to address our life and can take the wisdom and benefits from them. Well my dear friends, as water reflects our face, so friends that we choose will reflect their character too. We are very happy having a lot of friends. We can learn many things from them. But the truly good friend is who can give a positive influence to us and may complement each other. As Proverb says: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverb 17:17)

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.(Proverb 13:20)

Karina

Photo credit: http://www.vantagepoint3.org

 

5 Things About Selfish People

selfishHave you ever made plans with someone, you were looking forward to it all week, and then (at the last minute), they cancelled on you? They just dropped you. Maybe it was because something came up, or they were just too tired, or they didn’t realize it was the season finale of their favorite show. Has this ever happened to you? More importantly, have you ever done this to someone else?

Let’s be honest, we all have selfish tendencies. It is human nature to look out for our own interests and put ourselves first; to want the best for “me” and to, subsequently, think first about “myself & I”. The tendency to occasionally have a selfish thought or to casually dismiss or minimize someone else’s feelings does not make someone a selfish person. It makes them human.

What makes a person selfish is when these tendencies go beyond occasional and end up being a consistent pattern that demonstrates a disregard for others. Whether you know selfish people or you are a selfish person, it is important that you seek to understand the profile of selfishness.

Now, here is what I want you to understand about selfish people:

1. Some selfish people are outright bad or evil – Yes; selfish people are protecting themselves and dealing with deep-rooted hurt and pain. However, some of them are willfully and intentionally seeking ways to destroy other people. They find pleasure (immense pleasure) in causing harm to others. They want others (they want you) to fail.

2. All selfish people are not bad people – Some selfish people are not necessarily always out to destroy you. They are more in for protecting and providing for themselves. Unfortunately, their focus on self can leave others behind and hurting.

3. Selfish people are not always the problem – We attract people (and types of people) into our lives for a certain reason. If you keep ending up with selfish people around you… Then you must consider that self (you) is a part of the problem. You must ask yourself… “Why am I attracting or attracted to people who exercise selfish tendencies?” Many times, you may find out that it’s because of your own hurt or pain… trying to surround yourself with selfish people for something you think you can *get* out of the situation. If that’s the case, then you are also displaying a level of selfishness.

4. Selfish people don’t change overnight – Selfishness is not something that has a quick fix. Learning to be selfless requires acknowledgement, change, healing, and growth. It also requires a level of transparency. A selfish person who is genuinely interested in changing will be honest about the challenges they are facing as they seek to grow.

5. Selfish people don’t always know they are selfish – There are some selfish people who, actually, start out with the best intentions. They put their needs and desires aside (almost sacrificially) for the greater good of others. However, when it comes to taking action, their fears and trust issues make it difficult for them to just let go. So, they respond by being controlling and, sometimes, sabotaging situations. They rationalize their actions by saying they were protecting themselves and others from harm or danger. However, the truth of the matter is, they were afraid to move forward and they projected that fear onto others. They took away the choice for everyone else to execute on what had been planned out.

Cited from Knowledge4life, http://quentinmccall.com

Photo credits : quentinmccall.com

Giving,not Getting

Health insurance or love concept

During the last 2 months, beside I am busy at work I also got busy make a plan and preparing my wedding. I know and understand clearly that marriage is not a simple thing and messing around. I also know that the most important thing in a marriage is not how great we prepare for the wedding. Marriage is not just about luxury wedding party, beautiful and expensive wedding gown, orwherewe were goingto take honeymoon.

The Most important thing in marriage is our self. How mentally strong we decided to get married, how well our personalities in running a marriage, howmuchweknow our spoueses,how far our readiness in dealing with marriage problems. Marriage is to unite two different human characters. Man and woman. Where both have different advantages and disadvantages.

Few days ago I found a good short article that discusses everything about marriage. I and my fiancé learn so much from this article. We found and realized one critical aspect in a marriage life. What is this?  An Egoistic thought. This is a critical point that mostly causes problems in marriage. We expect much from our spouses and when we couldn’t find what we think we should get, we start to complain and lose interest on our marriage.  We define happiness by having or possessing. But, happiness is the result of giving not getting.

Gary Thomas in his book Devotion for a Sacred Marriage, said ” There is not happiness in having or in getting,but only in giving”And then Gary Thomas added ” And half the world is on the wrong scent in the pursuit of happiness. They think it consists in having and getting,and in being served by others. It consists in giving and serving others “

In a marriage life, there is no happiness when we always trying to get and possess what we think and what makes we happy.This is an important point that should be instilled in each of us. We usually expect that we have to do this and that for us. We will never be happy this way. We can’t have a good and lasting marriage either. We are searching happiness in a place where we won’t find it ever.

Eventually, I learned something very valuable. Everything is return to God. We all know God is Love. We made by His own image and because of it we should have character from Him. If God is love, we are created to love others not only to be loved only. Marriage goes same way. It is not about what you get, it is about what you give. You made a commitment at the beginning, to love and take care of your spouse, for better or for worse. This is entirely giving. And that is what the foundation of marriage lies; giving, providing, loving and caring.

Reduceoreven eliminateour egoistic thought. Let’s start to think “how muchwe can giveto our spouses” not “how muchwe can getandexpectfromourspouses” Once again, Happiness not comes from getting but giving.

Cited by Karina Susanto

Original from Youth in Part Magazine  in article “What marriage is primarily about”

http://www.youthinpart.com

Photo credit : www.johnhaydon.com

Story of a man and old lady

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you.

He said, “I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.”

Well, all she had been a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, “And think of me.”

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred-dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: “You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.”

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, “Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.”

There is an old saying “What goes around comes around.” Today, I sent emailed you this story and I’m asking you to pass it on… Let this light shine!

 Please do not be selfish, be considerate.. thoughtful and compassionate!

What goes round comes round!

God knows best.