Tag Archive | self-esteem

PUTT OFF YOUR EGO (guest post)

Basically all humans have an ego. Family, environment, status, economy, education, the treatment and the words of others, certain events and the things that are intensely repeated in one’s life, can be shape and predispose the ego. In Greek, “ego” means “I, me, my” (a primary pronoun of the first person I – only expressed when emphatic). Simply put, the ego is a perspective on self or an individual’s concept of self, or “A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. How we respond, react, and act against everything is a manifestation of our ego. Therefore as disciples of Christ we must see ourselves in God’s perspective so that we have the same self-concept as God’s concept of ourselves, and as much as we can avoid falling into sin caused by the ego.

SHOULD LIVE AS CHRIST DID

In John 8: 12-14, the Lord Jesus testifies of Himself:

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am (in the original language using the word “ego”) the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

The Pharisees challenged him, “Here you are, appearing as your own witness; your testimony is not valid.”

Jesus answered, “Even if I (in the original language using the word “ego”) testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going.”

Jesus knows exactly who He is. He knew exactly the purpose of his life, and in his obedience He had accomplished the Father’s work perfectly. That’s our longing, right?! Everyone who truly loves God will want to understand God’s will, to be used by Him, and to experience the fulfillment of His plan. But that is often hindered by our-selves alone (the ego). The “I AM” factor with all the attributes and peculiarities that stick to us – character, nature, perspective, strength, weakness, and so on – often makes us give the wrong response. Consequently, we fail to understand God’s intentions, fail to recognize His call, be confused and don’t understand His will, even acting wrongly.

Since we were born and grow, along with it the ego is evolving. Then when we meet Christ, there will be alignment. That is our self is more aligned with the Word of God. The parts of us (the ego) that are wrong must be corrected, the impure must be cleaned, the deviate must be straightened, the useless must be removed. When we believe and accept Christ as the only God and Savior, at once we become new creatures: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV) But that doesn’t mean automatically our entire existence will change instantly. There are things that require our cooperation to respond appropriately to any process of God.

The first thing we must realize is that our identity – originally created in God’s image and likeness – has been restored! We no longer live under the curse but abide in the Father’s grace for Jesus has paid our condemnation. Our names have been written in the Book of Life. Our status has been transformed into a God’s child and the heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven. We no longer live for ourselves, but are called to do the noble task of the Father. The purpose of our lives is no longer self-satisfaction, but pleases God and becomes His true worshipers. His Holy Spirit dwells in us. We will be increasingly transformed into Jesus like in words, thoughts, and deeds. And because we belong to Christ, we must live like Christ did. Anyone who says he is a Christian should live as Christ did.” (1 John 2:6 TLB)

It is all God’s perspective on His children. As His children, we must see ourselves just as the Father sees us. We must have and live the restored self-concept. Our paradigm in looking at ourselves and this life must be change.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Transformed by the renewing of mind means we have to change in thought, feeling, and will. The measure of good or bad, right or wrong, profit or loss, worthy or not, etc., is no longer ourselves alone (ego) but God’s word!

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23 NIV)

In that way, from time to time our ego will become increasingly eroded and God’s plan in our lives can be accomplished.

SUBMIT TO GOD

As a people who should live as Christ did, then we must imitate what Jesus did. In Matthew 4: 1-11, Jesus was tempted by Satan after He finished 40 days 40 nights fasting.

The first: IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD, tell these stones to become bread.” (verse 3)

The second: IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” (verse 6)

When we note, the essence of the first and second trials is not just about bread or about throw self down, but Satan manipulated and challenged Jesus to prove Himself and His power as Son of God.

The third: Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him ALL THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD AND THEIR SPLENDOR. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” (verse 8-9)

In the third temptation, Satan is “luring” Jesus with wealth, power, and honor in the eyes of the world. In those three trials, Jesus always answered, “It is written.”

The key to Jesus’ triumph over temptation is that He always submit Himself under the authority of God’s Word. If we are going to win over temptation then WE MUST BE SUBMIT OUR EGO UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF GOD’S WORD. Our standard of living and responding to everything is not the ego, but God’s Word!

Similarly, when Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane before His crucifixion. Three times Jesus prayed, And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” (Mark 14:36 NKJV) Jesus declare that nothing is impossible for the Father. Jesus believed the Father must be able to grant His request, but Jesus submit Himself to the Father’s will.

If we desire to live in God’s plan, then OUR EGO SHOULD BE SUBMITTED TO THE GOD’S WILL. Our standard in reacting to everything is not our thoughts, feelings, and will, but God’s will, because sometimes our ego pushes us into doing something we think is right but it is not true or not God’s desired way, as Moses did.

If we read in Exodus 2: 11-15, Moses acted to defend his people, Israel, by killing the Egyptians who were beating a Hebrew. It was easy for Moses to do that because he was educated and trained in the palace of Pharaoh. Should defend his people is the right attitude, but because the timing and the way was not right then what happenned was a misunderstanding. He was rejected by his own people and sought after by Pharaoh to be killed.

Our ego must always be submitted under God’s authority, that is the Word and His will, even when we want to do the right thing in our eyes! If the ego is not submitted and handled, we can be a selfish person who measures everything from the standpoint of oneself and for oneself.

LIVING IN GOD’S PLAN

Ultimately, the whole value of our lives comes from God. Our life will be meaningful and fruitful if it is founded on the foundation of faith in Jesus Christ and built according to God’s plan. Do not let the ego prevent us from entering into it. The apostle Paul is a wonderful example.

Paul has a tremendous Jewish background. Born to an orthodox Jewish family, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, a Pharisee (Phil. 3: 5-6), living as a Pharisee according to the strictest sect of Judaism (Acts 26: 5), and trained under Gamaliel – A famous scribe and member of the Jewish Council (Acts 22: 3). Regardless of his Greek-speaking ability and Roman citizenship, it is clear that Paul had the potential to serve as an apostle to the Jews, as did the apostle Peter. But God sent him to the Gentiles: “Then the Lord said to me, ‘Go; I will send you far away to the Gentiles.'” (Acts 22:21 NIV)

Paul didn’t boast of himself as a capable man. He also didn’t argue with God. All he did is obey: But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus.” (Gal 1:15-16 NKJV) Even though in the early days of his ministry he had been questioned by apostles and Jewish Christians, he continued to walk and work on God’s call until his last breath at the hands of Emperor Nero’s executioner in Rome. That is the life that fulfills God’s plan.

BEING A NEW CREATION

“Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to PUT OFF YOUR OLD SELF, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; TO BE MADE NEW IN THE ATTITUDE OF YOUR MINDS; and to PUT ON THE NEW SELF, created to be like God IN TRUE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND HOLINESS.” (Ephesians 4:21-24 NIV)

Let us PUT OFF THE EGO OF OUR OLD SELF. Do not feel great, capable, and confident because of rich, clever, have power, handsome or beautiful, talented, influential, and many advantages. Also do not feel inferior because of feel ugly, poor, stupid, and many weaknesses. Don’t rely on our sense of self-esteem or self-importance based on all of that!

“He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered.” (Proverb 28:26 AMPC)

Rather, let us live in THE NEW ATTITUDE OF OUR MIND AND PUT ON THE NEW SELF IN JESUS CHRIST, also live in THE TRUE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND HOLINESS, which are values that are not measured by our own perspective and our sense of self-esteem or self-importance, but based on what God says. Certainly not by relying on our own strength and effort, but by relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit all the time and continuously, until the whole process of our lives ends, that is, when we close our eyes forever to return to the Father, the owner of our life.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11 NIV)

 

A M E N

 

By: Sella Irene – Beautiful Words

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6 tips to Improving our self-esteem

 

This morning I am very glad and willing to share one aspect of our life. Self -esteem. Self-esteem simply means appreciating yourself for who you are — faults, foibles and all. It seems like other cultures don’t grapple with self-esteem as much as Americans do, perhaps because of the emphasis we seem to put on materialistic indicators of self-worth (like what kind of car you drive, what school your kids attend, what your grades are, how big a house you have, or what your title is at work).

The following is an article about improving our self-esteem that I use as a training material in my company where I work.  There are 6 important tips that we can practice in order to improve our self-esteem. I hope these tips can be useful for everyone. Improving self-esteem mean better life.

1. Take a Self-Esteem Inventory.

You can’t fix what you don’t know. This is one of the core components of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Before you get to work on putting CBT to work, you have to spend a fair amount of time identifying irrational thoughts and what-not.

The same is true for your self-esteem. To simply generalize and say, “I suck. I’m a bad person. I can’t do anything.” is to tell yourself a simple but often convincing lie. I’m here to tell you that it’s not true. We all suck from time to time. The solution isn’t to wallow in suck-age as the core of your identity, but to acknowledge it and move on.

Get a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle of it. On the right-hand side, write: “Strengths” and on the left-hand side, write: “Weaknesses.” List 10 of each. Yes, 10. That may seem like a lot of the Strengths side if you suffer from poor self-esteem, but force yourself to find all 10.

If you’re having difficulty coming up with a whole 10, think about what others have said to you over the years. “Thanks for listening to me the other night when all I did was talk your ear off!” “You did a great job at work with that project, thanks for pitching in.” “I’ve never seen someone who enjoyed housework as much as you do.” “You seem to have a real knack for telling a story.” Even if you think the Strength is stupid or too small to list, list it anyway. You may be surprised at how easy it is to come up with all 10 when you approach it from this perspective.

This is your Self-Esteem Inventory. It lets you know all the things you already tell yourself about how much you suck, as well as showing you that there are just as many things you don’t suck at. Some of the weaknesses you may also be able to change, if only you worked at them, one at a time, over the course of a month or even a year. Remember, nobody changes things overnight, so don’t set an unrealistic expectation that you can change anything in just a week’s time.

2. Set Realistic Expectations.

Nothing can kill our self-esteem more than setting unrealistic expectations. I remember when I was in my 20s, I had thought, “I need to be a millionaire by the time I’m 30 or I’m going to be a failure.” (Don’t even get me started about how many things are wrong with that statement.) Needless to say, 30 came and I was nowhere close to being a millionaire. I was more in debt than ever, and owning a home was still a distant dream. My expectation was unrealistic, and my self-esteem took a blow when I turned 30 and saw how far away such a goal was.

Sometimes our expectations are so much smaller, but still unrealistic. For instance, “I wish my mom (or dad) would stop criticizing me.” Guess what? They never will! But that’s no reason to let their criticism affect your own view of yourself, or your own self-worth. Check your expectations if they keep disappointing you. Your self-esteem will thank you.

This may also help you to stop the cycle of negative thinking about yourself that reinforce our negative self-esteem. When we make set realistic expectations in our life, we can stop berating ourselves for not meeting some idealistic goal.

3. Set Aside Perfection and Grab a Hold of Accomplishments… and Mistakes.

Perfection is simply unattainable for any of us. Let it go. You’re never going to be perfect. You’re never going to have the perfect body, the perfect life, the perfect relationship, the perfect children, or the perfect home. We revel in the idea of perfection, because we see so much of it in the media. But that is simply an artificial creation of society. It doesn’t exist.

Instead, grab a hold of your accomplishments as you achieve them. Acknowledge them to yourself for their actual value (don’t de-value them by saying, “Oh, that? That’s just so easy for me, no big deal.”). It may even help to keep a little journal or list of things you accomplish. Some people might even do this on a day-by-day basis, while others might feel more comfortable just noting them once a week or even once a month. The key is to get to your smaller goals and move on from each one, like a connect-the-dots game of life.

It’s just as important to take something away from the mistakes you make in life. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, it simply means you made a mistake (like everyone does). Mistakes are an opportunity for learning and for growth, if only we push ourselves out of the self-pity or negative self-talk we wallow in after one, and try and see it from someone else’s eyes.

4. Explore Yourself.

“Know thyself” is an old saying passed down through the ages, to encourage us to engage in self-exploration. Usually the most well-adjusted and happiest people I meet are people who have gone through this exercise. It isn’t just about knowing your strengths and weaknesses, but also opening yourself up to new opportunities, new thoughts, trying out something new, new viewpoints, and new friendships.

Sometimes when we’re down on ourselves and our self-esteem has taken a big hit, we feel like we have nothing to offer the world or others. It may be that we simply haven’t found everything that we do have to offer — things we haven’t even considered or thought of yet. Learning what these are is simply a matter of trial and error. It’s how people become the people they’ve always wanted to become, by taking risks and trying things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

5. Be Willing to Adjust Your Own Self-Image.

Self-esteem is useless if it’s based upon an older version of you that no longer exists. I used to be good at many things I’m no longer good at. I excelled in math while in high school, but couldn’t do a calculus problem today to save my life. I used to think I was pretty smart, until I learned just how little I knew. I could play trombone pretty well at one point, but no longer.

But all of that’s okay. I’ve adjusted my own beliefs about my self and my strengths as I go along. I’ve become a better writer, and learned more about business than I ever knew before. I don’t sit around and say, “Geez, I really wish I could play trombone like I used to!” (And if I cared enough to really think that, I would go and take some lessons to get good at it again.) Instead, I evaluate myself based upon what’s going on in my life right now, not some distant past version of me.

Keep adjusting your self-image and self-esteem to match your current abilities and skills, not those of your past.

6. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.

Nothing can hurt our self-esteem more than unfair comparisons. Joe has 3,000 Facebook friends while I only have 300. Mary can outrun me on the field when we play ball. Elizabeth has a bigger house and a nice car than I do. You can see how this might impact our feelings about ourselves, the more we do this sort of thing.

I know it’s tough, but you need to stop comparing yourself to others. The only person you should be competing against is yourself. These comparisons are unfair because you don’t know as much as you think you do about these other people’s lives, or what it’s really like to be them. You think it’s better, but it may be 100 times worse than you can imagine. (For instance, Joe paid for that many friends; Mary’s parents have had her in sports training since she was 3; and Elizabeth is in a loveless marriage that only appears to be ideal.)

From John M. Grohol, PsyD article about improving your self-esteem. psychcentral.com

Summarized by Karina Susanto