Tag Archive | emotion

HOLDING THE ANGER (guest post)

Anger is one form of expression of human emotions. Everyone can feel angry, including a child who has not been able to express the feelings through words. Many things can trigger our anger, from big things to trivial issues. Angry with the particular situation, people around us, ourselves, even against God. People can also feel angry though not know angry to no one or anything. Even some people can hide anger in their hearts although from the outside they look fine. And in the some situations, one can get angry for no reason then vent their anger on others just because of a bad mood. As a Christian, is it wrong to have anger in our hearts? The answer depends on what causes the anger and how we handle it.

 

ANGER KILLS

Anger has dangerous potential if not resolved soon. People who are ruled by anger will tend to vent their emotions in the wrong way and excessive. The Bible had written many stories about the adverse effects of anger, such as Cain and Haman.

In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering….. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So CAIN WAS VERY ANGRY, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, SIN IS CROUCHING AT YOUR DOOR…..; it desires to have you, but YOU MUST RULE OVER IT.” (Genesis 4:3-7)

At the time Cain became angry, God didn’t say that Cain had sinned at that moment, but God warned that “SIN IS CROUCHING AT THE DOOR” and Cain MUST RULE OVER IT. Unfortunately Cain didn’t obey God. He allowed the anger to manipulate and control himself. Then the first murder occurred in the history of mankind: Brother killed his brother! All started with an anger!

IN YOUR ANGER DO NOT SIN: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

Do not let the sun goes down while we are still angry. The anger that “momentarily arises in the heart” if not immediately resolved is the same with open up the opportunity for the devil to bring us into the sin: vilification, slander, hatred, resentment, bitterness, murder, and other evil acts. In his anger Cain killed one man, but Haman designed the massacre of one nation simply because he was angry with one man!

And all the king’s servants who were at the king’s gate bowed down and did reverence to Haman, for the king had so commanded concerning him. But Mordecai did not bow down or do him reverence……. And when Haman saw that Mordecai did not bow down or do him reverence, HE WAS VERY ANGRY. But he scorned laying hands only on Mordecai.……Haman sought to destroy all the Jews, the people of Mordecai, throughout the whole kingdom of Ahasuerus. (Esther 3:2-6 AMP)

Furthermore, we knew that God thwart the evil design of Haman, even it turned destroy himself!!

Unresolved anger can be a snare to ourselves. Maybe we don’t physically kill others, but anger kills our own soul and spirituality, also destroys our relationship with God and our neighbor. Venting anger blindly will not solve the problem, it just makes the situation and communication worse.

There are many other examples in the Bible about the ravages and deaths caused by anger. Therefore the Lord said that we should stop anger immediately before the anger drags us into evil.

CEASE FROM ANGER, AND FORSAKE WRATH; Do not fret–it only causes harm. (Psalms 37:8 NKJV)

Then to what extent we are allowed to get angry? The answer is back to what is the motivation of our anger, and whether our anger leads to destruction or generates goodness and restoration.

 

THE RIGHT ANGER

The right anger is to be angry for the right reasons with the right sayings and actions, just as Jesus did: Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers doing business. When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables. And He said to those who sold doves, “Take these things away! Do not make My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” (John 2:13-16 NKJV)

Jesus was angry for the right reason: NOT COMPROMISING WITH SIN. Jesus immediately acted decisively by removing what was wrong. But notice that Jesus didn’t burst His anger blindly or cursed them. Instead, He told them what their fault is, and taught them what is the right so that they don’t continue to live in their sins.

And as HE TAUGHT THEM, he said, “Is it not written: “‘My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.'” The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because THE WHOLE CROWD WAS AMAZED AT HIS TEACHING. (Mark 11:17-18 NIV)

Right anger must be accompanied by a right guidance and action. The guidance and action must be delivered in love and in harmony with our authority. Wise communication is needed so as not to cause misunderstandings, although the risk is still possible. When Jesus was angry and declared what was their fault, some of them didn’t like it. But on the other hand, many people were amazed at His teaching. They must have experienced a paradigm shift in their lives, as long as they didn’t harden their hearts.

Anger based on true motivation that delivered in the right way with the right guidance and action in love, sooner or later will build people and become a blessing. On the contrary, we will be guilty before God if we don’t angry at the moment we should be angry, like Eli who did nothing and not rebuked his children even though he knew that they have sinned.

I’m bringing judgment on his family for good. He knew what was going on, that his sons were desecrating God’s name and God’s place, and HE DID NOTHING TO STOP THEM. (1 Samuel 3:13 MSG)

I’ve told him that I’m about to judge his family forever because of the iniquity that he knew about. His sons committed blasphemyg and HE DID NOT REBUKE THEM. (1 Samuel 3:13 ISV)

There is a moment we must be angry, that is when we see unrighteousness and various forms of sinful deeds. But again, the anger must be controlled and delivered with love.

 

SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY

Anger is a normal psychological reaction and doesn’t necessarily make us become sinners in the time we feel angry, but it doesn’t mean we free to be angry. Angry isn’t the same as irritability. Everyone has many reasons to get angry if always follow ego and feelings. It will form our personality and characters become irritable person if we don’t handle it.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY, (James 1:19 NIV)

God not only asks us to slowly become angry, but also teaches us not to associate with one easily angry:

DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH A HOT-TEMPERED MAN, DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH ONE EASILY ANGERED, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. (Proverbs 22:24-25 NIV)

This shows how anger is so bad and harmful to our lives. Why? “for MAN’S ANGER does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:20 NIV)

Man’s anger is all anger that comes from human flesh: offended, feeling belittled, hurt, disappointed, dissatisfied, and everything from human ego. Man’s anger is always self-centered: what bothers me, what I don’t like, what I want, what I think is good, and everything that is centered on “me”. The benchmark is always “me”, regardless of the other person. Cain and Haman are examples. Cain was angry because envy of his brother and felt rejected by God. Haman was angry because he felt unappreciated. The Bible tells clearly how the bad consequences of man’s anger.

 

SILENT AND MEDITATE

As human beings who are still living in blood and flesh, we can’t escape completely from egocentricity because we all still proceed to perfection. Then how if our hearts hit by anger??

BE ANGRY, AND DO NOT SIN. MEDITATE WITHIN YOUR HEART on your bed, and be still. Selah (Psalms 4:4 NKJV)

Be angry  and sin not; COMMUNE WITH YOUR OWN HEARTS upon your beds and be silent (SORRY FOR THE THINGS YOU SAY IN YOUR HEARTS). Selah ! (Psalms 4:4 AMP)

If we angry, don’t hurry to vent! Silence for a moment and take time to meditate deeply: why are we angry, should we be angry, what is our motivation, right or wrong, and so on. When our anger subsides and our heart starts to calm down, we will be able to see the situation and problems more clearly so we can express our hearts wisely, take the right steps, and not fall into sin in our anger.

If we angry for the right reason, the Holy Spirit will anoint and guide us to do what we must do in love and according to His will. If we find ourselves angry for the wrong reasons, the best way is to straighten our hearts and learn to put our flesh under God’s will. What if the anger has brought us into sin? The forgiveness is always available to everyone who confesses sin: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NKJV)

 

WALK AND LIVE IN THE SPIRIT

We can’t be a meek, patient, loving, and not grumpy person just by relying on our own strength. All it requires CHANGES FROM WITHIN. There is an ego that must be eroded, the flesh that must be subjugated to Christ’s will, the character to be processed, and the heart formed by God. We can indeed control anger with our own understanding and strength, but only God can do divine things with eternal fruits in our lives. The key is to live in communion with the Holy Spirit.

But I say, walk and live  in the  Spirit ; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God). For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the  Spirit, and the  Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other , so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do. (Galatians 5:16-17 AMP)

If we always walk and live in the Holy Spirit then our lives will bear the fruit of the Spirit: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23a NKJV)

If we have love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, then we will not be easily angry. Let’s depend on and obey the Holy Spirit so that we mature in spirituality and character and become wise person who can control our emotions, even able to assuage the anger of others.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Proverbs 29:11 NIV)

Amen.

 

By: Sella Irene – Beautiful Words

Photo Credit: Google Images  (edited with pixlr app)

 

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Overcoming a loss of Motivation

 

How many times have you started a new activity (such as a personal project or exercise routine) with a burst of enthusiasm, only to see that initial momentum evaporate? This often leads to depression and causes us to give up prematurely. I’ve experienced this letdown dozens of times myself. But fortunately, with a bit of thought and reflection you can turn this negative emotion around.

The key to harnessing your emotions understands them. The natural pattern of human emotion is peaks and valleys. When we start a new project we’re filled with tremendous optimism. All we can think about is the expected benefits, and since we haven’t started yet, we aren’t aware of the difficulties involved. This natural high causes a surge of mental and physical activity. The peak is a great thing because the energy boost gets projects off the ground. If you’re a creative type like me, you know that this period is euphoric. You feel like nothing can stop you.

The downside of this surge of energy is that it inevitably ends. Exerting large amounts of energy wears you down, and after the initial optimism wears off we feel extremely tired. However high you started off, you fall down just as low. This causes a loss of confidence. The combination of fatigue, scant results, and an awareness of impending adversity makes us want to give up. From personal experience I’ve learned a few ways to hold strong against negativity.

Be Prepared for a Letdown

Emotions, by nature, lose their power when we understand them. Prove this to yourself. Next time you get angry, take a moment to reflect on the reason behind the emotion. When I step back and reflect, it’s easy to see that my anger is caused by insecurity/selfishness/jealousy etc. After I understand the cause my anger fades away.

The same technique applies to a loss of motivation. Instead of giving into negativity, step back and analyze. Look at the causes. Are you tired, burned out, disappointed by the results? Are these feelings justified, or are they a by product of a low point in the emotional spectrum?

To illustrate these ideas, I’ll use my most recent project as an example, the creation of this site. When I launched Pick the Brain it took an enormous amount of effort. I was completely new to blogging, web design, and traffic building so there was a steep learning curve. Writing new posts, setting up the site, and trying to build traffic took up nearly all my free time. After about three weeks I was completely burned out. I got depressed and started to question if the site was worth the effort. I wasn’t seeing any returns and I started to find enormous faults in my writing and the purpose of the site. There were moments when I was resigned to failure.

One reason I was able to overcome this loss of motivation is that I prepared myself for a letdown. Beforehand, I researched blogging and learned that it generally takes 9-12 months before a site begins to see significant traffic. Knowing that my lack of success was perfectly normal helped me get over it. The same is true for other endeavors. If you know losing 20 pounds in a month is unrealistic, you’ll be able to accept losing only 5 more easily.

I also knew my own emotions and was prepared for the initial emotional peak to pass. When I was first inspired to launch a website, my expectations were through the roof. Dreams of Ad Sense revenue danced in my head and I pictured throngs of loyal readers as if they already existed. But because I understand my emotional pattern, I realized this optimism would give way to depression. In the back of my mind, I foresaw the impending motivational battle, and when it came I was ready.

Reevaluate Your Strategy and Motivation

The passing of the emotional peak is a blessing in disguise because it allows us to reevaluate our plans from a fresh perspective. At first we are blinded by our own optimism. When we lose our motivation we can see gaping holes our in plan. We can either get down on ourselves and give up, or we can use this negative emotion to discover our faults and correct them. After I pulled myself out of the motivational cellar, I went back to all the negatives thoughts I’d had and applied them to improving the site. Having a pessimistic attitude opened my eyes. It made me realistic about my abilities and expectations. Emotional valleys bring us back to reality. Without them we’d be raving lunatics with unlimited self-confidence.

Use a loss of motivation as an opportunity to reconsider what your motivation really is. One reason I lost motivation is that I became too concerned with the financial aspect of blogging and lost sight of the real reason I started: sharing my passion for self improvement and the pursuit of happiness. When I realigned my motivation with my passion, the lack of results didn’t matter. My motivation returned because I realized connecting with people through my writing is an end in itself. Even if this site never makes I dime, sharing my ideas and experiences to help other people is worth the effort.

In truth, sometimes giving up is the right decision. If you started doing something for the wrong reasons you’ll likely lose your motivation. This is a good thing. It allows us to see what really motivates us. In these cases, the best choice is to move on to a new endeavor. Don’t fight self doubt; use it for your benefit.

Conclusion

Dealing with emotional highs and lows is an experience common to all people. We generally accept our emotions as beyond our control. They are powerful and mysterious and appear quite irrational. But if we contemplate our emotions, if we explore the inner workings of our minds, we find that like all things, emotions obey the law of cause and effect. Armed with this knowledge, we can continue to allow our emotions to dominate our lives, or we can use them to our benefit.

Don’t be surprised by a loss of motivation and don’t be disappointed by it. Understand it as natural effect of the human mind, and utilize this knowledge of self to make your emotions work for you.

I have been use this article as a seminar material when I was become a speaker in my company.

Cited form pickthebrain.com