Tag Archive | affection

Ups and Downs as a single daughter

lonely 2 blog anBecause I was an only child (single daughter), I was interested to post an article about the ups and downs of being a single daughter. But this article is not a psychological analysis or scholarly essay. I just wanted to share what I felt.  Many people think that being an only child is fun because I will be very spoiled and sometimes treated very special in the family.  Well, actually the opinion or thought it was not entirely true. Sometimes or maybe often I have uncomfortable situation as a single child.

Every parent has a reason why they only have a single child. There are two reasons; first, for the some reason is it was planned. And the 2nd reason is for the some reason as well, the presence of a single child was not planned. So, what about me? I am being a single daughter just because the first reason. From the beginning my parents had planned just want to have one child. Well, I would like to say so sorry can’t tell what the reason is. (Sometimes I feel it is unfair-reason)

Ok, now I would like to talk about advantages and disadvantages being a single child. I will look from two sides. From parents side and from the child side itself.  First, let’s we look from the parents’ side. Mostly, parents who have one child doesn’t have big material burden compared with parents who have more than one child. This is one advantage of the parents. They do not need work too hard to comply the physical needs of their child. Economically, they aren’t need very large cost like living cost, school expense; daily cost, etc. It will be very different from parents who have a two or three child. Given the fact this means that a family or parent who has a single child is much more profitable than the parents who have many children.

 Next, let’s look to the disadvantages. So far, based on my experience in my family there is no big and significant problem on my parents. Even more my parents always busy with their business. If any, it’s only a matter of family atmosphere. I must admit that the home environment became so quiet. House environment not becomes lively. That’s it. In my family, this problem can be solved by as often as possible spend time together to take a traveling, shopping, dinner at our favorite restaurant, or just make a fun time at home. But I want to tell something that it all does not solve the most fundamental and crucial problem next.

Well, that is advantages and disadvantages from the parent’s perspective. Now, what about the child side?  Once again, I must admit that become a single daughter I was treated very special, I was very spoiled, got special privilege, and they are (my parents) even always fulfill what I want. (I don’t mean to be haughty, just a little example, my parents ever offered me a luxury condo as my birthday gift just because I said  that’s a beautiful condo). My parents always try to makes me comfortable in every circumstance. They treated me like a princesses. I think it’s a normal way. Because as a single daughter I becomes a precious treasure.

And, here’s my big problem…! Because they are treated me with a very special way, without my knowing,this affects to my personalities. There are two trait of a single child. First, it will become spoiled, arrogant, egocentric, antisocial and not popular. The second is, have an enclosed personality, sensitive, anxious, and pulling out from social relationship. To be honest, I have experienced it all around two years when I was in junior high school.  I could be the most annoying person, selfish, very arrogant, always underestimate to everyone (particularly to people who are not wealthier than me), I became an undeniable person, and the worst thing is, I HAVE NO FRIENDS…!!!

This is a horrible thing in my life…!!  I feel estranged, I was living in my own world and eventually I felt alone and lonely. This is the biggest problem that I faced. Much less, when I need to talk or share something important, I haven’t anybody except my parents (with notes, my parents are not busy). When my parents in a business traveling, I just stay with my nanny and that’s where I felt deeply alone and lonely. I do not feel ashamed to say that I often crying in my bedroom just because I am deeply alone and lonely. I live in loneliness and all the luxuries that I have totally meaningless. I could only pray and crying to GOD. (Fortunately, my parents my parents gave me a very strong religion education and I really grateful with it)

A brief story, soon I realized, I should to overcome that horrific problem and soon I also should change my mindset, my life style, and my behavior. But  it is not so easy. I have to struggle to be humble, learn to accept and respect others,learn to listen and accept other people’s opinions,learn not to be a selfish, learn to socialize, and learn many things of life aspect. I feel like a newborn baby. I have to learn from the beginning, like a baby just learning to crawl, I learn many new thing that I’ve never experienced and do before. And the biggest step for me to become a better person is, I told to my parents to stop spoiling me with all the luxuries and privileges and I want to be treated as an ordinary single daughter. And when I was in senior high school I decided to stay at the school dormitory. I want to learn be an independent person. Not always depend on my parents. I am aware that there are consequences of decision that I took. There is a price to pay. Slowly but sure I build my own life with my own best way. I am grateful to GOD that always lead and guide me to become a better person. And then I changed. I have many good friends, an I have tremendous  personal life. Until now I still learn about how to become a better person and not depend on someone. I am Happy with my own life now.

Well buddy, that’s my story. I realized it might not a good story or article. I am not a good writer. Like I said before, I just want to share a little part of my life. Especially my life as a single daughter. So if you think that being a single daughter is very nice and beautiful, I would have to say “It’s not entirely true. Because in other hand there are many unpleasant things even horrible that everyone doesn’t know.

when I feel alone, I only remember one of the most faithfully friend,

He always listen my grievance unconditionally, He wiped my loneliness tear into a hope of joy

He fulfill my emptiness with His loving kindness  and hugged me with lasting warmth,

God,  thank you for being a true friend, when everyone was gone and  when  the silence came over,

You always be with me, cheer me up with your unconditionally  warm and tender love and affection.

Warm Regards,

Karina Susanto