During the last 2 months, beside I am busy at work I also got busy make a plan and preparing my wedding. I know and understand clearly that marriage is not a simple thing and messing around. I also know that the most important thing in a marriage is not how great we prepare for the wedding. Marriage is not just about luxury wedding party, beautiful and expensive wedding gown, orwherewe were goingto take honeymoon.
The Most important thing in marriage is our self. How mentally strong we decided to get married, how well our personalities in running a marriage, howmuchweknow our spoueses,how far our readiness in dealing with marriage problems. Marriage is to unite two different human characters. Man and woman. Where both have different advantages and disadvantages.
Few days ago I found a good short article that discusses everything about marriage. I and my fiancé learn so much from this article. We found and realized one critical aspect in a marriage life. What is this? An Egoistic thought. This is a critical point that mostly causes problems in marriage. We expect much from our spouses and when we couldn’t find what we think we should get, we start to complain and lose interest on our marriage. We define happiness by having or possessing. But, happiness is the result of giving not getting.
Gary Thomas in his book Devotion for a Sacred Marriage, said ” There is not happiness in having or in getting,but only in giving”“And then Gary Thomas added ” And half the world is on the wrong scent in the pursuit of happiness. They think it consists in having and getting,and in being served by others. It consists in giving and serving others “
In a marriage life, there is no happiness when we always trying to get and possess what we think and what makes we happy.This is an important point that should be instilled in each of us. We usually expect that we have to do this and that for us. We will never be happy this way. We can’t have a good and lasting marriage either. We are searching happiness in a place where we won’t find it ever.
Eventually, I learned something very valuable. Everything is return to God. We all know God is Love. We made by His own image and because of it we should have character from Him. If God is love, we are created to love others not only to be loved only. Marriage goes same way. It is not about what you get, it is about what you give. You made a commitment at the beginning, to love and take care of your spouse, for better or for worse. This is entirely giving. And that is what the foundation of marriage lies; giving, providing, loving and caring.
Reduceoreven eliminateour egoistic thought. Let’s start to think “how muchwe can giveto our spouses” not “how muchwe can getandexpectfromourspouses” Once again, Happiness not comes from getting but giving.
Cited by Karina Susanto
Original from Youth in Part Magazine in article “What marriage is primarily about”
Photo credit : www.johnhaydon.com