Archive | May 20, 2013

Fulfilling a Promise

Ever since the beginning The girl’s family member disagree her relationship with the boy. Saying that because of family background, if she insist of being together with the boy, she’ll suffer for her whole lifetime.

Because of the pressure applied by family members, she frequently quarrel with him. The girl does love the boy, she used to ask him, “How much do you love me?” Because the boy is not good with words, he used to make her angry. With additional comment from her parents, her mood get even worse. The boy, has become her “anger releasing target”. And the boy, just silently allowed her to continuously release her anger on him.

Later, the boy graduated from University. He plan to further study overseas but before he left. He proposed to the girl… ” I, don’t know how to say nice words but I do know that, I love you. If you agree, I am willing to take care of you, the whole life. About your family members, I will work hard to convince them and agree on us.”

“Marry me, will you?”, the girl agreed.

And her parents, looking at the effort shown by the boy, agreed with them. Finally, before the boy go oversea, they are engaged. The girl stay back in the hometown, step into the working society where as the boy continuing his study overseas. They maintained their relationship through telephone and letters. Although time is difficult to get through with, but both of them never give up.

One day, the girl left home for work as usual on her way to the bus stop, a car lose control and knock her down. As she awake from unconsciousness, she saw her parents and realize how seriously she got hurt and how fortunate of her, not to get killed.

Looking at her parents, with their faced got all wet by their tears, she tried to comfort them. But then, she found out that She can’t even spell out a word, she tried her best to make some voice but all she managed, was to breath without any voice. She’s mute. According to the doctor, the injury affected her brain, and that cause her to be mute for the rest of her life. Listening to her parents persuade, but can’t even reply with a single word, the girl collapsed. Throughout the days, others than crying silently, still it is crying.

Later, the girl discharged from hospital. Returning to her home, everything is still like before. Except that the phone ring, has turned into the worst nightmare of hers. Ring after ring, continuously stimulate her, stimulating her pain But she can’t tell the boy. She don’t want to be a burden to him, and wrote him a letter telling him that she no longer want to wait, the relationship between them ended, and even returned him the engagement ring. Facing the letters and telephone from the boy, all she can do, is to allow tears falling from her eyes.

Her father decided to move, after seeing the pain she is suffering. Hoping that she could forget everything and be happier into a new environment, the girl started to learn, slowly picking up sign language and start over again. Also telling herself to forget the boy.

One day, her best friend tell her that the boy’s back. He’s searching all around for her, she asked her best friend not to tell him about her and asked her to tell him to forget her. After that for more than a year there was no news of boy. One day her best friend tells her, that the boy is getting married soon, and passed the Wedding Card to her. She open the card sadly, but she found her name on the card.

The moment she want to ask her best friend, the boy appear in front of her. With an unfamiliar sign language, he told her ”I spent more than a year’s time, to force myself to learn sign language, in order to tell you, I have not forgot our promise, give me an opportunity, let me be your voice. I love you.”

Looking at the slow sign language by the boy, and the engagement ring she gave back to him, She finally smiled.

Do not be a coward and run away whenever there is a problem, remember that every problem has a solution, never ever break someone’s heart, you may not know when it will happen to you.

Giving,not Getting

Health insurance or love concept

During the last 2 months, beside I am busy at work I also got busy make a plan and preparing my wedding. I know and understand clearly that marriage is not a simple thing and messing around. I also know that the most important thing in a marriage is not how great we prepare for the wedding. Marriage is not just about luxury wedding party, beautiful and expensive wedding gown, orwherewe were goingto take honeymoon.

The Most important thing in marriage is our self. How mentally strong we decided to get married, how well our personalities in running a marriage, howmuchweknow our spoueses,how far our readiness in dealing with marriage problems. Marriage is to unite two different human characters. Man and woman. Where both have different advantages and disadvantages.

Few days ago I found a good short article that discusses everything about marriage. I and my fiancé learn so much from this article. We found and realized one critical aspect in a marriage life. What is this?  An Egoistic thought. This is a critical point that mostly causes problems in marriage. We expect much from our spouses and when we couldn’t find what we think we should get, we start to complain and lose interest on our marriage.  We define happiness by having or possessing. But, happiness is the result of giving not getting.

Gary Thomas in his book Devotion for a Sacred Marriage, said ” There is not happiness in having or in getting,but only in giving”And then Gary Thomas added ” And half the world is on the wrong scent in the pursuit of happiness. They think it consists in having and getting,and in being served by others. It consists in giving and serving others “

In a marriage life, there is no happiness when we always trying to get and possess what we think and what makes we happy.This is an important point that should be instilled in each of us. We usually expect that we have to do this and that for us. We will never be happy this way. We can’t have a good and lasting marriage either. We are searching happiness in a place where we won’t find it ever.

Eventually, I learned something very valuable. Everything is return to God. We all know God is Love. We made by His own image and because of it we should have character from Him. If God is love, we are created to love others not only to be loved only. Marriage goes same way. It is not about what you get, it is about what you give. You made a commitment at the beginning, to love and take care of your spouse, for better or for worse. This is entirely giving. And that is what the foundation of marriage lies; giving, providing, loving and caring.

Reduceoreven eliminateour egoistic thought. Let’s start to think “how muchwe can giveto our spouses” not “how muchwe can getandexpectfromourspouses” Once again, Happiness not comes from getting but giving.

Cited by Karina Susanto

Original from Youth in Part Magazine  in article “What marriage is primarily about”

http://www.youthinpart.com

Photo credit : www.johnhaydon.com

Questions to Ask Yourself Everyday.

Today, after lunch I should have give a building character training to the junior employees at my company. I would like to share one of training material to all bloggers. Hopefully it can be useful.

Many times what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks. But they only need a special heart that listens. Giving up is easy. Perhaps this is the reason why most people give up very soon. But when your dreams are far away and your life is full of obstacles, it really doesn’t matter what the challenge is. Your faith on yourself will get you through it. What you do everyday matters more than what you do once in a while.

Ask these questions everyday to find out your inner qualities and make yourself a better you. Because it’s much more valuable to criticize yourself than criticizing others. Because you gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections. Your life is what you make it. Every day is a new day to try again. So start asking yourself these questions everyday and discover the real YOU.

1. Am I Taking the Right Decision?

It‘s very important to take the right decision at the right time. But it is more important to understand the right time to take a decision and implement it. So it’s always a good idea to ask yourself if you are taking the right decision. Because your decision making abilities controls more than fifty percent of your success in life..
So whenever you make an important decision, at first ask yourself if it gets you closer to your goals or farther away. If the answer is closer, pull the trigger. If it’s not, make a different choice. Remember, conscious decision making is a critical step in making your dreams a reality.

2. What have I Learn Till Now?

Behind every negative thing, there are positive things to learn. You can learn something every day if you pay attention. Learn from every mistake and be the best you can be. Learn from your past to live in the present and create your future. Forget what hurt you. But never forget what it has taught you. Learn as much as you can. Because your world will be boring if you don’t learn anything.

Every mistake has something new to learn about. People who never made a mistake in life has never really tried to something new. So they don’t get the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Remember we can never go back and change what has already been said or done. But we can always learn the lesson to make things better next time.

3. What are My Fears?

Courage is not the absence of fear. But it is the judgment that something else is more important than fear. Remember, fear is the ultimate self-imposed illusion. Nothing in life is to be afraid of, but to be understood. If you don’t understand the reason of your fear, you can never understand how to get rid of it.

Don’t let your fear control your life. Look deep into yourself to discover the reasons of your fear. The only difference between your fear and your excitement is your attitude about it. It’s better to face danger once than to always be in fear. Miracles happen when you learn to give more energy to your dreams than to your fears . 

 4. Where can I Find Inspiration?

Your best inspiration is YOU. Make yourself someone you will be proud of. The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrows. Ask yourself what inspires you and learn from it. Perhaps the best question you can ask yourself is “What is the most valuable use of my time, right now?”

The way you choose to live your life is what decides how your life will be. Stop talking about your problems and start talking about your joys. Then you will have a more entertaining and interesting life. You don’t have to better than everybody else. You should just try to be better than you ever thought you could be.

5. How can I Improve Myself?

There is no challenge more challenging than a challenge to improve yourself. You can improve yourself everyday of your life. Your future depends on what you do today. Utilize your time in the most valuable way. Improve yourself and be the best person you can be. Don’t let your future become a constant battle.

Realize your full potential by focusing on improving yourself. Take care of your mind and the way it plays with you. Never get tired of doing little things for yourself. Because sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of your life.

6, What Makes Me Proud?

Everyone who got where he is today had to begin where he was. So don’t let your life discourage you. Be proud of who you are and what you are today. This is only what you have got and this is only what you can improve. Respect yourself enough to know you deserve the very best. Because when you love yourself, things fall easily into place. 

 Not everyone you love is going to love you back. So it’s much better to love yourself. You should be yourself. Because nobody else is better qualified. You are your best inspiration and you are the only person who has the best capability to make yourself feel proud.

Nobody is going to love you, if you don’t love yourself. Don’t try to change yourself to impress others. Because you never know who will love you for who you are. Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be. Be proud of yourself and what you have every day.

7. What is My Greatest Challenge?

Challenges are what make your life more interesting. Without any challenge, your life will be boring. The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. Asking this question everyday will make you realize how interesting your life is and you have the ability to make it more interesting.

Every challenge makes you stronger. Every challenge makes you realize your inner strength. You need to realize that you have the power to change your life. You can do it by finding out your passion and discovering your greatest challenge in life.

Your greatest challenge in life is your goal. Don’t let your life change your goals. But change your life by achieving your goals. If you want to live a happy and interesting life, you must tie it to a goal. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.

Material summarized from : The Ultimate Life  Guide, http://uniquelifeguide.com